Saturday, September 25, 2010

Airline Bitchy Mode *ON*

I'm usually not a cranky nor bitchy person but recently I had this very agitating urge to bitch about the events that had happened during my flight. Maybe it was due to hormonal changes or probably it's the volcano inside me that is waiting to erupt.

With the new job, I've been traveling quite extensively (flying almost once every one or two weeks!) and I've been quite under the weather. One thing I realised is that, the traveling perks is not a bed of roses. It's so nice to hear about people flying here and there, living a life out of a suitcase and probably experiencing an enactment of the movie "Up in the air" but honestly, it's not really that great! But you know what's worse than a delayed plane?

THE OTHER PASSENGERS!


Thus, I've come up with 8 general rules that YOU should follow for the betterment of mankind on air travel. If you violate them, I'll be bitching and cursing you and wishing a whole lot of other terrible things to be done unto you!

  1. Be apologetic if you're spilling into my space! I was on the flight to Langkawi and this fat man beside me has his fats spilling over onto the handles between my seat and his. What's worse is that he kept on moving and hugging his partner during the flight! It was so uncomfortable but lucky it was a short flight.

  2. Your leg is touching mine! Come on, you've been allocated the same space as mine. And my legs are even longer than yours, so keep them to yourself. If your legs are so damn long, opt for an aisle seat! Rule to the exception - if you're a hot guy!

  3. Don't talk if your breath stinks! You made me loose my appetite or I'll need an oxygen mask! For choc's sake, get a gum or mint.

  4. Stop hugging and kissing so much! It's not that I hate PDA (Public Display of Affection) but I cannot stand the overly passionate passengers whom does not respect the OTHER passenger beside them. Makes me feel so single and sad...

  5. You don't own the armrest! Do you know that the armrest is shared?!! This guy who sat beside me had the impression that he owned the armrest and has been invading my space by knocking off my hand! What's worse is that he kept on moving and turning that the seats are rocking because of him!

  6. Look before you recline the seats! I know that you're uncomfortable with the seats upright but you've been more considerate if you look first before you recline the seats. I hate it when I was eating or using the tray when suddenly the guy in front reclines his seat as if it was a lazy chair in his home. Look before you recline so that you don't crush my laptop or at least give a heads up before that.

  7. Be gentle with the trays! Some passengers have this habit of slamming the trays when securing them back into place. I might be asleep damnit and when you slammed it, it jerked me!

  8. Control your kids! There's nothing much you can do to babies but what I cannot stand is the screaming kids/toddlers. For choc's sake, give them a a shot of rum and shut them out. It's so frustrating when you have sit through a flight for hours with irritating kids whom just wouldn't shut up!


I hope with better luck, I'll be able to get onto my flight without the other passenger that reclines into me, kids screaming behind me, the couple that hugs and kiss beside me and the trays that slammed behind me. Ok, after this post, I'll get back to writing why I love to travel!



28 comments:

suituapui said...

Ooi...I'm FAT!!! But I try to make myself small and keep to my own space. I ALWAYS take the aisle seat and lean towards the aisle and leave the inside armrest to the passenger beside me (...and I do NOT do that so that I can get cheap thrills when the stewardesses - nor teh stewards - bump into me! LOL!!!)

I do not recline my chair as there will not be much space for the person behind...and I hate people who do that and being tall, I will have full view of the head all throughout the flight.

And yes! People who cannot discipline their kids should just stay at home. Mine, when she was small, would sleep all the way - short or long hauls!

suituapui said...

Yup! PDA! If they want to do it, they should just stay at home.

Imagine on one Air Asia flight, the steward who obviously thought he was God's gift to women, was flirting/trying to seduce the stewardess who was manja-manja, playing hard to get...and coming across as one helluva b****y slut...right in front of the aircraft in full view of us, the captive audience. Disgusting!

Anonymous said...

Totally agree with u! And I would like to add one more thing : don't take off your shoes if you have smelly feet. I can't even breath with some people taking off their shoes(if their feet stink)during a long haul flight.

zewt said...

fly business... better ;P....

anyway, that guy's leg touching you might be... intentional...

eiling lim said...

STP: Oops... but salute to you that you're being considerate and all! Unlike some of them whom are really inconsiderate and rude. About the PDA thing, the passengers are irritating but if the air steward/ess do it, it's worse!

Anon: Lucky I haven't encounter that YET! Haha...

Zewt: I can only fly business when it's 4 hours and above. Don't have that privilege yet!

TheGunner said...

Err... "Rule to the Exception"???

Anyways, good points for me to bring onboard my flight this Tue.

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

zewt beat me to it, haha yea flying biz eliminates about everything.

gosh i miss flying biz.

eiling lim said...

The Gunner: Of course! I don't mind Wang Lee Hom touching my legs. Lol...

Joe: Not everyone has that privilege ok?! I wished I could!

thule a.k.a leo said...

wait till you have your own kids :P then someone else might say the same thing to you!

KY said...

all the touchy touchy ones is cos they wanna touch u oni, doesn't happen to us :P

eiling lim said...

Thule: Well, at least try to control your kids la. The parents just allow them to scream and shout and cry without saying anything! I was just in front of them!

KY: Haha... I don't think so la. They purposely spread their legs wide wide one!!

TheGunner said...

For guys, spreading their legs wider is normal. Especially the well-endowed ones. =P

Cruel Angel said...

travelling extensively can be very lonely... but it give u the chance to be wild...

do somethings that nobody will knows...

taufulou said...

hahha.. that's the normal thing that people do in the flight ah.. unconsiderate eh~ lucky that my legs are long and manage to cramp it into shoter version during my flight..:d

li wei said...

ask ur boss to fly u in Biz Class...heheh...

Anonymous said...

Business class lor if u do not want any of the above

Anonymous said...

tell me about your next flight. i want to sit with you. i am an excellent kid... if everyone goes online in the plane, then they will be very quiet

Anonymous said...

another item to be added: don't pick your nose

eiling lim said...

The Gunner: Ok the next time I see such a guy, I know he's very well endowed! lol

Cruel Angel: Chance to be wild? Hmm... I shall work on it!

Li Wei: My boss will replace me! Lol

Anon: Only 4 hours and above.

Anon: Haha... you wanna sit beside me and irritate me?

Anon: Yeah that's gross!

TY said...

Haha...eiling that life living out of a suite case, if you have experience some of the inter-flights within US where operated by small time carrier, you will explode.
It always overbooked because the airline worried people do not show up, the person sited beside you is always double your size, the stewards is as wide as the aisle and the plane fly on twin propeller.

Oh yeah…you forgot to mention about people burping out…

eiling lim said...

TY: Wow it must be an eye-opener for me! Must try one day and see how irritated I can get!

Anonymous said...

>Anon: Only 4 hours and above.

4-hour trip is not long enough. has to be well above 4 hours, to America that is whole day

eiling lim said...

Anon: I don't get you. What I was trying to say is that I only get to fly on Biz class when my flight is above 4 hrs.

Anonymous said...

What about those people who travel with shorts and slippers as those they are going to pasar malam?

eiling lim said...

Anon: Those people don't irritate me. if you're flying to phuket or some resort island, you don't expect them to wear suits right?

Anonymous said...

If you were members of the 5 mile high club this would all be irrevelant

reflective eassy writing said...

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Vic said...

What is the wife/gf has a terminal cancer? Would you still be grumpy?

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