Thursday, October 08, 2009

Single or Double?


I wanted to know that assuming that you're in your mid 20's today, if given a choice, would you like to remain single or would you want to be attached? Who wouldn't want to be attached if the right one comes along, right?

If you have been in a relationship, and then you're out, would you want to remain single for sometime before getting hooked again or you would grab every chance you have to be in a relationship? *bearing in mind that opportunity will never strike twice*

Who wouldn't want to be loved and have a sense of belonging by getting into a relationship? But a relationship comes with a lot of complications and emotional baggage besides the positive attributes like

....someone to talk to when you're down
....someone who's always there for you and you knew it
....someone who shares the happy and unhappy times

But the above could also be achieved if you have close and true friends. So why get into a relationship just because of the above factors? When I'm in a relationship, I wished to be single but when I'm single, I fear I wouldn't be able to get back into a relationship. I realised that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Making a decision to stay single or attached could be more difficult than the question of whether I would bungee jump or not?!! One is emotionally threatening and the other is a life threatening decision. It's a life question and I've always been a person whom have pre-regrets, anticipatory regrets and post-regrets.

At times I think why don't I just go ahead and do it and why the heck would I want to think so much? Like a friend said, treasure when you still have it and most importantly, you enjoyed the process and the outcome is not important. I can't. My mind functioned in a way that I think too much about almost everything. I am someone whom will list all the pros and cons and then only decide. I don't always do spontaneity - which is something I regret.

But I did something quite spontaneous in a way last week. I booked myself a trip to Melbourne and Sydney for 10 days for next month! There's 1 more month to go before I fly and I'm really excited. Yes, I'm going with me, myself and I. So that's four of us! I think I really need some time off alone.

I think I'm talking crap but anyways, I'm really into some listening today and why don't you share with me whether you're happy being single or attached? I needed inspiration. Badly.

26 comments:

The Jackal said...

Embrace life, Eiling. We only live once. You worry too much! Follow your heart, women's intuition always seems to be spot on.

There are many who get by single, but I feel that it is usually not really by choice but something they learned to live with and accept. Also, it is possible that their ideal of a partner is just not possible. People come in package deals.

I feel that human beings inherently have a need to be loved. The happy days seem so empty when there's no one emotionally close to share them with. When you're young, you may have many friends who can fill this role, but one day they will all be married and too busy with their own families.

Vivien said...

your trip sounds fun, wish to do a backpack trip by myself, but to places where i have friend there, to meet up of some sort, it can get tiring and boring travelling alone for too long of a period

Wei Mei said...

u can do it wan... remember to buy my alot alot of souvenir.... no worry.. got alot alot ppl love you.. k... hehe =)have a nice weekend....

p.calais said...

do what makes YOU happy.everything has its pros n cons.its uo to you to make the most of it.ive been single for a while now n yes its awesome!!!!but at times, you do tend to yearn for some companionship...n oh,when will u be in sydney??i might be able to bump into you.will be there end of next month as well.

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm single and I'm happy I guess. Never seriously consider any relationship, may be thats because I don't have a lot to offer, don't have lots of friends. Guess you could say what boring guy. Yes thats just people's opinion, at least when I'm alone somewhere or in times to come, I won't miss anyone.

Over 40

Anonymous said...

SINGLE

Admirer said...

In my outlook, double is better than single. Dive in and swim your way to happiness and of course with the right partner.

Anonymous said...

Single, Double and Mixed Double.

VIZAVI said...

Having your cake and eat it or having your candle burning on both end!!!

Jasmyne said...

Thr r pros & cons for single & attached but then now i chose to be attached (after 5 yrs of broke up with my ex)coz i'm tired of being single ady, wish to settle down. =) Need a companion, sometimes feel bored & lonely.

Jasmyne said...

Don't think too much ... just do whatever u wanna do or u think it's right else will regret. This is an advice fr a fren of mine who is diagnosed with bone cancer, a very positive cancer patient. =)
We should be grateful with what we have now ... shld count our blessings ... =)

Admirer said...

Yes Double! I Love To Carry You In My Arms. Haha!! :-))

zewt said...

i guess i am out.

but anyway, i thought you said you were with someone already in one of the entry i wrote. hmmm....

Wai Lun said...

There is no right or wrong in being single or double. Just do what your heart tells you. After all, you grow wiser with age and experience. Equipped with this knowledge, it can help you to weight the pros and cons in what lies ahead of you. Remember, live life to the fullest with no regrets!!

Anonymous said...

If you go to Melbourne alone means you are unhappy with your current bf and will be ditching him very soon.

As you enjoy life (sex included), unless you accept ONS, you are more happy attached.

From your life style, you are very likely to end up with an older bf. No matter what one’s expects of idea bf, will eventually decided by basic instinct. You will only be happy with the bf that you want your son to look like.

foongpc said...

Only you have the answer to this question.

Four people on a trip to Melbourne? I hope you are not suffering from multiple personality! LOL!

Myhorng said...

I think I'll select attach lor.

Single is good with all the freedom u want etc. however, i personally feel that no matter how happy you are, you'll still feel the emptiness deep inside. at least that's to me. ;)

Anonymous said...

if u stil want to continue partying, going on dates with other guys plus don want anyone to control n don want to feel guilty, remain single.

u r not ready to settle down so don get atttached for the sake of getting attached, and then expect your bf to be love you n at the same time be indifferent of your lifestyle. it's selfish and u'll most probably end up asking "Single or Double?" again.

My Reality and Fantasy Journey said...

single or double? both are difficult, having a friend with benefit is more what i'm looking for lah, its much better

eiling lim said...

Everyone: Thanks for the comments and views and I found some of the comments very much described the situation I'm in and I guess I know what I should do now.

Anonymous said...

Believe you knew what you want; posted here just to find support, reassurance from your followers.

Good luck!

suituapui said...

It's fated... Both got their good and bad... We just have to make the most of it...as much as we can!

eiling lim said...

Anon: Thanks.

STP: Yeah I have to start listing the pros and cons again.

Shingo T said...

Why be single when you can be double?

It's always good to have someone you can call your own. Someone to share joy and sadness with you.

Single people can't hug themselves, their hands just aren't that long.

eiling lim said...

Shingo: But being in a relationship is not just about hugging and sharing. sometimes, there's a lot of complications...

rainbow mushroom said...

perhaps, i just want to be in love, not in a relationship...

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