Monday, December 01, 2008

How Do I Want to be Picked-Up Guide

I'm sure most have heard about the dating guide or "How to Score a Girl in 101 ways", "Guy Gets Girl", "Successful Pick Up Lines" or other sorts of how to get a girl step-by-step manual. I have no offense against those articles because I find them an interesting read. They enlightened me on how guys are going to pick girls up just by reading those articles. I'm not saying that those articles aren't good but then again, it's a generalisation of us, women, the ultimate reason why so many of these books are written.

Here's my 5 Steps guide to successfully picking up a girl:
  1. Be proud. No one likes a timid and humble man. Show off where ever and whenever you could and make sure she sees it.

  2. Tease her. Don't compliment because sometimes girls expect themselves to be complimented all the time. The teasing will sure make you different.

  3. Dress to kill. Yes, that's right. Don't wear your usual shirts and pants to party. Wear bold colours and designer clothes.

  4. Ignore her. Try not to pay attention to her. Make her jealous by directing your attention to other girls, especially the hotter ones!

  5. Be an ASSHOLE. Yes, this is the ultimate. Girls like bad boys. Nobody likes a nerd or a goody goody mommy's boy. Do you?!! I don't!

Well, if you really have a problem with those guidelines, you can always drop me a message. I might be able to further elaborate on the points in detail. And if you're still reading this and thinking how to be an asshole, then you're really one failure. Follow the above steps and you might just flush down your chances with the girl down the toilet bowl. Never ever use those steps. Those are for losers.

See, when it comes to picking up girls, some will boast of their success and some will fret. There is 1 in 10 chances if your pick up line was "babe, would you go home with me tonight?" would be accepted by the girl. But if you blew your chances by being direct and straightforward, that's only 1 in 10. There's still another 9 more chances to go that you will probably and eventually score a girl. Learning from failure will only make you better. Therefore, those who gave up after 1 or 2 tries are definitely losers because they didn't know that the more you do it, the more you improve and the better the chances are and the nearer you are in getting a girl.

If you're still reading this, I'm really impressed because you do really want to know how to successfully pick up a girl. You see, in a woman, there's her sense of logic and the subconscious mind. Very often, her emotional feeling will overrule logic and that DENY the logical interpretation of choosing a guy. That's why you see women going for bad boys and assholes even when they knew perfectly that it's going to be a disaster! Of course I don't deny that there's also true love between a bad boy and a nice girl but then again, why would that girl prefer that bad guy over the next door goody guy like you?!!

Read my lips - Scoring a girl has nothing to do with looks! It doesn't matter if you're 20 or 40 or even 50 (well, 60 is a bit difficult la), the fact remains that most of the times hot chicks date not-so-good-looking men. Why?!!
If you're good looking with a kick ass body, you don't need to read this. That's because hundreds of women are probably forming a queue outside your house dying to date you. But if you belong to the not so good looking category or to those whom even fall below the average, here's my guide to higher chance of success in hooking a girl (or even me if you like).

Here's Eiling's "How to Pick Me Up" guide :
  1. Dress to impress - never dress to kill. A girl dresses to kill but if a man does, it's over doing it. You don't want to overshadow the girl or even allow her to have the slightest thought that you were gay or simply vain. The first 5 seconds of eye contact would usually involve me scanning the man from head to toe. Judging from his clothes, I can practically sum up his personality. Sometimes I might be wrong but most of the time, it does shows. For a practice, look at how your guy friend dresses and then see whether their attitude or personality matches their clothing. A never-go-wrong outfit to impress is usually a smart collared shirt paired with a pair of jeans or khakis pants. A black shirt with white pants can be classy too but make sure it goes well with your body frame too. T-Shirt at dinners or clubs just convey the message that you're generally a sloppy person. If you're not good looking, you need to look smart.

  2. Boost up your knowledge - on girls' interests. For example, if we were talking about mascaras and concealers, would you know what is that?!! Or if we were getting excited about a certain bag at Gucci, would you know what's the latest trend? Brush up your knowledge on brands especially those popular ones. We might be interested to know about a certain bargain that you were about to disclose. Come to think of it, it can be some sort of ice-breaker. Girls can take great pains to understand a football match to impress the males but guys can't even spend some time finding out about our interests.What a shame...

  3. Crack jokes - but not corny ones. Girls looked their best when smiling or laughing. You wouldn't want to see her sour face the whole night or neither would you want her to not see you again for the rest of your life. Humourous is a must have vocabulary in every girl's dictionary of choosing a guy. If you're not making us happy, then I'm sorry we are not interested in making you happy either! I like guys who can tell good jokes, jokes that makes you wonder and then laugh not silly jokes or corny ones. It's just too lame to even pass that off as being humourous.

  4. Ask questions - intelligent ones. What is classified as intelligent questions? Well, it very much depends on whom the girl you're talking to. If the girl happened to be a bimbo, then don't be too intelligent or she will never be able to understand you. You can ask me about my job, what do I do on a normal day at work, what do I do to relax and maybe where's the best vacation I had. These are the questions that keep the conversations going. You an start with work, movies, vacation, food, music to interests. Just keep the conversation going.

  5. Always listen - especially after you asked the questions. The last thing I would want to know is that you're not listening to what I'm telling you. And if I just told you that I'm working in a chocolate factory and you asked me again where I was working after 10 minutes, you go from hero to zero! Now, to impress the girl that you've been listening, try quoting her in the following conversations. She'll be surprised that you actually paid attention. It works for me everytime. I felt impressed.

  6. Numbers - phone numbers. Always try to ask for some form of contact. Don't even expect me asking for your number because No. 1, I'm not desperate to keep in touch with you & No. 2, I'm not desperate! So, it would always be better for the guy to initiate. If she looked like she's unwilling to give her number to you, asked for her email, msn or facebook, that'll be less awkward (and you can save face). All you need is some kind of contact. Always initiate to give your number to her and asked her to call you whenever she wants to talk or to have a drink. Whether she will dial those numbers or not is entirely up to your luck.

  7. Be generous - on the first encounter. Well, not only on the first if you can afford it. If you can't, then the next time you can suggest to her that whether she's ok to go dutch on future outings. I don't suggest that you ask. You should probably wait and see whether she wanted to share the bill. Generosity always make a very good first impression. Imagine you paying the bill on the first date and she feels bad about it having you to pay. There'll be a reason for her to go out with you the next time because she wants to buy you the next meal. See, that's how it goes.... don't look at short term gains and lose sight of what's going to happen next.

  8. Kiss goodbye - be very careful. If you don't want a tight slap on the face after you kissed her bye bye, I suggest you do this test. At first encounter, try shaking her hands. Then see how she reacts towards you the whole night. If she feels okay standing near to you or brushing your hands and sometimes patting on your shoulders, then when saying goodbye, you can probably try leaning towards her and have your right cheek touch hers and then the left. Usually when a girl is okay with that, she'll plant a kiss on your cheeks and probably throw in a hug as well. After that, you're sure to be on the right path.

That's my guide on how guys should impress the girls at first sight. It's entirely my own guide and if you were to use it on other girls, the rate of success would not be guaranteed but you can always try. I believe most girls some sort share the same similarities in terms of needs and wants and probably these steps would work on them too! Girls, if you have some good ones, you can always share them with me. Let me learn a thing or too to not easily fall for those tricks guys have up their sleeves.

P/S: In reply to Foongpc's "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You" post. Hope this answers your question.


Anonymous said...

It’s all boiled down to basic instincts.


foongpc said...

Thanks Eiling for this wonderful post! Nice tips there! I'm pretty sure guys will learn a thing or two from reading this although not everyone will agree to what you've written! But that's fine cos controversial article normally gets the most attention! I find it entertaining - maybe you can write a "how to" short book and be a famous author! : )

suituapui said...

How to pick up...ask Huai Bin. Gee! He could just go to the gents...and come back with a girl in his arms...and they would start taking photos together. As for me, no lah! You can't teach an old dog new tricks! Hahahahahahaha!!!

As for the girls, have to be knowledgeable meh? Thought they always pick up those dumb-dumb chicks...with a pretty face, a sexy body but nothing much up there? Not talking about you, of course... Hahahahahahahaha!

suituapui said...'s the guy who must be knowledgeable about girls' stuff. Well, I am...and I'm only 56 today! Not 60 yet, so still can hor? Hahahahahahaha!!!

Philip said...

I agree with many of your tips here, but I still prefer a friendship/relationship build on trust, mutual respect and honesty.

Daniel said...

I'd like to be your friend eiling.
I found you to be a rather elegant and charming lady.
Mail me.

Aaron C. said...

HAHA... Wow, strong stuff. No wonder good guys comes in last. Meaning, i shall try to become a bad boy. See if it works. Blerks.

P.s. Joking only...

-eiling- said...

FX: I don't deny that either but sometimes basic instincts are not enough.

Foongpc: Thanks. I hope they do. Haha...If I have enough time and experience, I will write a book on how to pick up "Malaysian Chinese Girls". Lol...

STP: ooh.. I didn't know that. Hmm next time must ask HB for his advice. You're still not too old to pick up girls. Pheeweet...

Philip: I agree with you but you will need a chance to develope the friendship and it starts by striking the right conversation and impression.

Daniel: Haha.. Thanks.. What's ur mail?

Aaron: Well, don't go overboard... (and if you fail, don't say you learn it from here ok?!!)

Daniel said...

YilingL said...

Guys who think highly of themselves are such turn offs. Instead more down to earth and humble and GENTLEMAN guys are more attractive (ie. opens the door, lets you go in the lift first, press the button etc).

-eiling- said...

Yiling: Yes exactly!

KY said...

you forgot the "pay for her cigars" part.

Anonymous said...

Are u seeing someone at the moment?how many relatioships did u have in the past?

Anonymous said...

Interesting post...even better than the Lost City post which I enjoyed thoroughly.Thought this was the easy part..hehehe..will check on your future post of " how to say bye bye on a good note". Great blog and keep them coming Ugly..hahahaha

-eiling- said...

KY: Well that was under GENEROUS!

Anon: Wow, so many personal questions, I don't think I need to answer those.

Anon: Hey thanks. I'll compile for the next how to make things turn ugly guide. haha....

F.R.E.D.Y said...

R u a writter for some Mag? Amazing! hahah...

-eiling- said...

FREDY: I'm not. I'm talking from real experiences and some made up statements of my own.

zewt said...

like you said... too much intelligence = nerd / geek... so it's all about balance, finding the equilibrium.

eiling lim said...

Zewt: Which is why so many men still fail! Lol..

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